My "Procedure"

So I had my colonoscopy today. And missed my soap opera because of it; ah well, I can catch up on the fan pages or watch it tomorrow morning on the Days of Our Lives website.

As anyone that has had a colonoscopy knows, it is not the actual procedure that is bad, it is the prep for it. Two and a Half Men’s Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) called it industrial strength colon-blow. The term fits so well I like to use it. Due to having had rectal cancer I have had many colonoscopies. Thankfully they are not near as often as they used to be; as a matter of fact, my last one was 2 years ago. That seemed like such a huge gap. I was expecting that I would have a follow-up appt. after this to discuss findings. None was scheduled. There were no labs to wait for or anything. NOTHING-NOTHING-NOTHING And I don’t have to have another one for 5 years! I cannot tell you how so utterly awesome that is to me.

The biggest issue today was they had trouble getting the IV in. My hands are so bruised; the nurse was even saying as she was wrapping them up that when I took the wrapping off it would look like I went a couple rounds with Mike Tyson. All I could think of was is that my hands would not be were the bruising would be if that were so. The main problem was I became a bit dehydrated from the medically prescribed diarrhea--veins don’t stand up if you are not hydrated. Some of it was just bad luck--it happens. The nurse, who has placed IVs in me before quickly and painlessly, tried my left and missed. She went to the right and stopped an instant before she blew the vin. She said that was enough for her she was getting the anesthetist to do it saying he was really good and never missed. He went to the right and went right through the vein. I felt so sorry for the both of them; oh the looks on their faces, they felt so bad.I kept telling them that it happens, don’t worry about it, I don’t get upset until the 6th or 7th time. He went left and managed to get it but in a vein right along the bone. I found that to be surprisingly more painful then the average IV--that’s okay, just don’t move that finger much and it won’t rub much, right? Oh I was sooo glad to get that out. And the backs of both hands are very purple.

I am still a little buzzed and kind of hungry. Food and a nap or nap and food????