The Bar Mitzvah Trip

I still am not fully recovered from the trip but then I haven't had much chance to kick back from it as I have had to catch up on chores since I got home. I do not understand how there was so much laundry when I got back. It was all done when I left and there were two less people in the house but easily more laundry needing done than if we would have stayed home. This amount does  not include the dirties Morg and I brought back. I had to ask who else's laundry I was doing. It turns out Himself cleaned up some of the pile of clothes in closet he had been building up; clothes that were worn for only a short time that could be put on again that he puts on the boxes in there and then forgets about. I wish he would do it more often, and not when I am away, he had two full loads, plus, stashed in there. I did two loads yesterday -- after the drive from Illinois, and two more today, I still need to do another to catch up. Then of course there was the kitchen. Wonderfully not a mess but not really clean and most of the dishes were dirty (but in the dishwasher, yay!). There was no meat set out to cook so food took a while longer than should have. No bread so I had to make some…on and on.

I did get to bed about 1 1/2 -2 hours early last night and got to sleep to my normal time for the first time in five days and got a two hour nap this evening. I did not want to get up. I felt I had to. I still feel a bit brain dead but decided I would try to write about the trip. Sitting here though, I wonder about waiting until tomorrow, I would probably do a better story. 

Okay, it is the next day whether you notice it or not while reading. Let's see if I can get this done. I keep seeing typos in everything I have been  writing, hopefully that won't be as much of a problem today.

So, Friday started out too early. My sister wanted to be gone from here before Morg and I usually even get up. She got here, Ron checked out the vehicle, oil and tire pressure, etc. and I got into the driver's seat and away we went. I do the highway driving so we will get where we are going in a reasonable amount of time; I do the standard 5 to 10 MPH over the speed limit and she does 5 to 10 MPH below the highway speed limit. I guess I should mention, in preparation of driving here my sister sent me the directions her mapping program gave her from her place to mine. There is a highway intersection south of me, it is a standard four-way intersection. She needed to be traveling north on one of the highways and cross over the other one. The mapping program had her turning left on the east-west highway and drive for something like 250 feet and then turn right, or back north, at that point, supposedly to stay on the one highway. Really, this is a straight cross over. If she would not have sent me the directions to check I have no idea where she would have wound up. That program was designed to get people lost, I am sure of it, but she was insistent on using it. I don't need a map to find Chicago though so the issue did not come up again for a while. This part of the trip was pretty uneventful, we talked and made jokes. Just a little before crossing the Mississippi we stop at a rest stop and there is a line to use the restroom, not too long but there none the less. This was a big restroom that had close to 15 stalls and lots of people moving around. My sister was in the lead and in a stall already, Morg was in line in front of me, someone steps out of a stall and a moment later another stall gets vacated, Morg is still just standing there. I gave her a little push telling her, "Go, one opened up." And then told her, "I am sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know how to wait in line for the toilets." But she didn't. With all the people in there moving around she was just really confused. There were more people in that bathroom than there usually are in our local WalMart -- in a lot smaller place. We get back on the road. More un eventful drive time. We arrive in the Chicagoland area. My sister makes a comment about what great time we made.

Unfortunately, at this point that mapping program comes back into play. We had trouble finding the hotel. But we finally found it, got our stuff out of the vehicle and checked in with the family. They were at a restaurant not too far away and they wanted us to come join them. The had already been there a while and needed to go to a service at a certain time and it was getting close. When we got there everyone was eating dessert; and by everyone I mean they had a large room full of people, somewhere around 60 people I think, maybe more. Here, I got to meet my new nephew and nieces. My brother, at almost 60 years of age decided to adopt three more kids, the youngest being somewhere around 3 yrs old. He had adopted two others years ago, the eldest is 13, I think, and special needs. We all think he is insane. Pictures were taken. People kept trying to get me to eat dessert. I am not a big dessert eater and eating it with nothing else on my stomach was in no way possible; it would have rapidly vacated my body through one route or another in a very embarrassing way. Everybody needs to go to the evening service so we go back to the hotel. Nice place but the room was a ways away from the elevator and I had to go outside to smoke; I could have smoked a cigarette on the way down it was so far away. No biggie really, but the wind was. I found a nice place to smoke that pretty much broke the wind from any direction, so I thought; sometimes the wind would blow straight down the building. There were cameras at every door, at the elevators, and in the hallways. No doubt these are meant to create a feeling of security rather than paranoia but I am not normal. The TV remote would only line up to the TV right if you were sitting down on the middle bed, seemed strange to me. My sister started looking at the hotel menu for food, $10 sandwiches, $9 salads and the same for a cup of soup. There was nothing I really wanted to take a chance on even if I was willing to overpay for the food; between the condition of my teeth and what my guts can handle, just not worth it. Incidentally, I did discover that Countrytime lemonade is a no-no for me now. I had gotten one at a stop and spent a lot of time on the toilet for drinking it, kind of like the bowel prep one has to do for a colonoscopy -- not nice. So no food for me that day.

The next day we had to get up too early, and after a few midnight trips to the toilet, to get ready for the Bar Mitzvah. After the mapping program got us lost, my sister called for directions and we managed to get there before it started. This is the first Bar Mitzvah I have been to and did not know what to expect. It was long. I found out it was not that it just seemed long, it really was long. My nephew decided he wanted to do five readings instead of the standard three; it added a lot of time. The woman leading the singing had a most remarkable voice but even failing that her enthusiasm in getting people involved would have made up for it. She was wonderful, they are blessed to have her in their congregation.

 But I have to say the clothing shocked me. Women, young and not so young, were wearing skin-tight, very short dresses, most were sleeveless, and only one woman had hosiery on (besides my 11 yr old niece). Only the young women had the shape to pull off the dresses but they seemed better suited for going out to a club rather than going to a temple. And I am sorry but if you are 20 or more pounds overweight, I don't care how stylish it is or how much it cost, you should not be wearing a skin-tight dress, it *will* look like crap. The service ended and they were serving all sorts of sweets in the other room. Oh yay. So many people. And more pictures taken. People start leaving for the reception at the golf course, this is to be where we are to eat. We leave but I had failed to realize that my sister wouldn't be able to follow the directions she was given, and I did not get them.

Out on the road… It is supposed to be about a 10 to 15 minute drive to the golf course, we are lost the mapping program keeps sending us to weird places. We, at some point realize we are kind of close to the hotel so we decide to stop there. But that mapping program was still trying to get us lost and we almost didn't find it. At the hotel we get directions to the golf course and make it there two hours late, just in time to see them putting away the last of the real food to set up an ice cream bar. They pulled a couple things back out for us. I wish I would have gotten more chicken but I wasn't sure if it was spicy, it kind of looked it but wasn't. I didn't even reach the end of the buffet table before it was pulled back off; not much of a chance to eat. It was very loud though; kids were dancing, they had a DJ and more people than had been at dinner and the Bar Mitzvah put together. I could hardly hear anything anyone was saying. But people were taking pictures. Morg had stuck pretty close through all this, if I walked away from somewhere she would either follow or stay there leaning against a wall, but she decided she wanted to check things out  in other areas of the party so she asked if she could. A little surprising to me, of course she could, it was a private party for her cousin. I told her to go do what she wanted --within reason; I always qualify that statement. She mentioned later that she thought there were more people there than she had ever seen in her whole life. That is an exaggeration but more people than we have seen in the last year is probably not. This place had a couple other receptions going on, actually one was a wedding and reception. While I was out having a smoke there were people carrying in big flower arrangements. People all over the place and no one was helping them at the door. I went out of my way a couple times to open the door for them, they were quite thankful. One time, I was getting my coat on and there were these two teenage girls talking, one had on this really cute flat boot but her other boot was a medical boot. They are right next to me, I lean toward the girl, all serious, she leans toward me to hear what it is I am going to say. I whisper to her, "Your boots don't match." This was so not what she was expecting. There was silence for a moment then she busted up laughing and tells me she is making a fashion statement. Decent comeback.

I am not really sure how long we were there, leaving was somewhat of a blur. We had to go back to the hotel so Morg could get her swimsuit and shorts/t-shirt to go to the rec center that was planned next and then we went to my other sisters house while arguing with first sister about her crappy mapping program. She kept insisting it worked in the cities. Really? Really? Why do we keep getting lost following it? Seriously this thing was sending us anywhere but where we wanted to go. We find my sisters house finally after calling for directions. It is a madhouse with everyone getting ready to go to the rec center. I send Morg off with sister two while sister one and I stay and visit with my dad. I guess I ought to mention, we stopped at a gas station and was unable to get the key out of the ignition, it would not turn to the off position. I tried a few things at my sister's house but it is in the ignition switch and nothing I knew to do. I called Ron and he verified that other than taking out the ignition there is little that could be done and with the air bag neither he he nor I wanted to do that; of course he couldn't until we got home anyway but… He did suggest trying some penetrating oil shot down next to the key *might* help. They didn't have any but got a neighbor to run home and get some we could borrow. I sprayed it in and worked it around a bit but it did not help right away. Everybody but Dad, sister one, and me left. A little while later the sister tried it and still the key wouldn't come out. I called Ron back and talked to him a bit and made the mistake of letting him know I let Morg go off to the rec center without me even seeing the place and wasn't expecting her back until about 1 - 1:30 AM. He is a worrier and he made this funny little sound. I am surprised I haven't heard about that since we have been home. Sister and I visit with our dad for a while and then go back to the hotel with all the "security" cameras. I did stay up until Morg got back; she claimed to have fun.

Next day, it is brunch at sister two's house, a casual but catered affair. We had to get up too early and pack up to vacate hotel room because sister one wanted to start back in the afternoon rather than wait until the next morning. We made decent time getting there because we did not depend on stupid mapping program. There were a lot less people but still seems very crowded and lots of cameras. I was sitting on the couch watching a slide show of family pictures on the TV, Morg was sitting next to me, and flashes started going off behind me. I am so tired of being on one camera or another, I drop to the floor and start crawling along the couch to get to the corner of the room where there are huge windows with light coming in were no picture would come out -- NO! Someone is standing there looking out the windows with a baby. I start to crawl un der the coffee table. Morg is laughing really hard at me causing Susan to come over and start taking pics of me under the table. By this time a lot of people were laughing. It was kind of fun. The food was a little disappointing; the croissant was a little stale, I have had much better lox (Morg said it tasted like fireworks smell), and it was the first time I had had kugel, I was unaware it was a sweet dish. I am assuming it was the lox that went right through me taking everything else with it. I narrowly avoided a very embarrassing situation. Most of the non-family left, everyone is exhausted; at one point I was a little afraid sister two was going to fall down the stairs when I saw her standing at the top of them. We said our good byes and *I* got the directions out of there to the highway and off we went in the late afternoon. I really would have preferred to leave the next day.

After some time driving I ask my sister if Lincoln would be alright to stop in, I had thought to push on to Springfield but with the time it was and as tired as I was I kind of wanted to stop. She said sure, whatever I wanted but then realized she was thinking of Litchfield, which is south of Springfield by an hour -- no way! We still had a while to drive to Lincoln and by that time it was getting dark so it was pretty easy to talk her into stopping there. We used to live in Lincoln. It could be considered a creepy town, we lived in a beautiful but very haunted house there. The motel we were looking for didn't have their sign light on, and I don't mean the vacancy/no vacancy one. There were cars in the lot but otherwise looked as though some shady business was going on there and so we passed that one up and found another. But the guy that answered the phone couldn't give us directions there and that %$&*# mapping program sent us to the wrong end of town. After we turned around and drove all the way back through town to the other end of the road it had located the inn but told us to make a U-turn on a road to get there. Not only are U-turns illegal in IL but sitting at the light we were supposed to make the U-turn at we could see the inn a little ways down the road -- meaning the U-turn would have taken us back in the wrong direction. We got there, there was a little confusion on the room, the guy who couldn't give us directions gave us a room with one bed for the three of us. Sister one did specifically ask for a room with two beds, we got a different room and then stayed up late talking and laughing. But I didn't have to go outside fr a cigarette for the first time in days. I sat by an open window to smoke; it was a smoking room but it seems a little odd to smoke in a real building anymore plus neither my sister smokes nor does Morg, so...

We wake up too early to start out again, we don't wake Morg until about an hour after my sister wanted to leave though -- still too early for our habits. I wanted to go by the house on Tremont St. that we lived in, there was another place we lived there but I wasn't as anxious to see it. My sister has gone by both places as an adult but I hadn't. I told her to find our way to the house and I could find the way to the Interstate from there no matter where we were in town. She was old enough to drive when we lived there so she had better memories of it. We found it and stared at it a bit, it was a house on the corner so we got to stare at two sides. No doubt if there was anyone home they were wondering why people were staring at their house. It was a big house. It had had the whole north side planted in lilies of the valley when I was a kid and I hated moving from that more than anything but it is too early in the year to tell if they are still there. They added a garage in-between the house and the old garage that we had turned into an rental apartment. One of the trees I used to love to climb had grown to where it would not be an easy climb anymore. And onto the interstate we went, me ignoring what that stupid program said to do. Getting much further south, close to the Mississippi cross-over by St. Louis, I look around and comment how it is kind of nice to look around and *not* be able to see for miles. But here I also realize I did not verify what exchange I wanted at the St. Louis area to avoid downtown St. Louis. I did this last time, dang. So my sister pulls out that stupid mapping program and what it tells us is garbage --go 26 some miles and take exit 40C. But any exit 40 is not going to be close to the river, the mile numbers get smaller close t the state line and we were already closer than 40 miles to the river. She suggests maybe they mean exit 4C. I see a sign that says I-270 to Memphis and really think that is the one I need to take even though Memphis is not the right direction from there. But I fail to take it. Looking at the map later I discover I was indeed right. There was no exit 4C. Back into downtown St. Louis. I did get to point out the Gateway Arch to Morg where she promptly confirmed what I was saying about there was no way Percy Jackson could have jumped out the window into the Mississippi; and it is closer to the river now than it used to be before the floods in '93. And this time I veered left instead of right in one of the spaghetti messes they call highways around there and actually avoided the worst part of downtown. While driving on this massive highway system I started wondering why no one was driving in the forth lane; all this congestion and that lane was empty. I popped over into it and picked up speed appropriately. About 10 minutes later I suddenly recalled why no one was driving in that lane. I was back in MO where it is illegal to drive in the left lane unless passing. Crap. I should have realized that since I was purposely driving in the left lane in IL when I could, just because I could; it is illegal in a lot of states but not IL. So back in the third lane I go. I find the right exit and we are headed home.

We stop in Mtn. Grove, the town my family calls "town" when we go to town, to get gas. My sister comes out of the station after going potty and she says something about it being good to be home and then says and this isn't even home yet but feels a lot more like it. We arrive at my house and unload our stuff, Ron checks out the car for my sister, tire pressure and oil stuff. We go over the direction out of here closely since she got badly lost last time. Away she went. I told Morg to get the wet swimsuit out of her bag and the rest could wait but I wanted her unpacked before she went to bed. She did the swimsuit and got on her computer. I reminded her to unpack a little while later, she said "Okay." A little after that I went in and dumped the suitcase on her bed so I could put it away. The next day I only had to tell her twice to do something, it was almost like she was eager to do her chores. Did she miss them? It is usually three times and then I yell, "Get it done!" She actually thanked me on this trip for yelling at her -- that is another story, related to the trip but different. Yet I haven't raised my voice once since we have been home. My sister called when she got close to her home. I was so surprised because it was in the average time it would have taken to get here to there. I was expecting if everything went well it would be at least another hour before I heard from her. I am proud of her for not getting lost and driving a normal speed.

I have already complained about the laundry so I guess that is it. I need to post this before that guy drops the tree on the power line anyway. He might not but it isn't looking good for avoiding it Ron says. Oh gosh, and that reminds me, a woman I was talking to at the reception asked where I lived. She was from Poland so didn't know the Ozarks. I tried to tell her where I lived and then told her I lived in the woods. Her face went blank; I think she was thinking a tent or something. I told her "I can't see a neighbors house from mine" and she smiled and relaxed but thought it was amazing.