Sunday, July 22, 2012

I got a surprising phone call this morning.



So I am out in the garden picking radishes (those Rat Tail radishes really do put out in the summer heat, record heat and I just canned 14 jars of pickled radishes) when Morg hollers out the door that I have a phone call. I thought "Who the heck would be calling *me* on a Sunday morning?" When I get to the phone and say "Hello." I hear "TJ?" I used to go by TJ but it has been a long time and as I was running though my mind who would be calling me that name, I came up with *one* person just as she identifies herself. Yep it was her. It was quite a surprise and we were on the phone somewhere around two hours talking and still didn't finish catching up but we had to hang up.
I am thrilled she called and I've really needed a friend recently just to talk about the ups and downs of life. The  email "support group" I used to use let me down real bad a few months back. I had been growing away from them for a bit, maybe less growing and more depression had to do with that since my sabbatical, now that I recall, took place during and after cancer treatment. But then I started interacting more and things seemed to be fine with the group. The group owner's wife  had a heart attack and he understandably was away from the list for a short time and people quit posting. I wrote a post that he would not want that and to keep the posts coming so at the time I was being quite active in the group. About 3 weeks later I made a post  and wrote about finding out my favorite aunt was dying. Since the list owner's wife was in the process of dying herself I harbor no ill feeling toward him whatsoever for missing the post, I know he would have said something. (I think he is the only one that reads my blogs and is hearing this stuff for the first time, but he has probably been wondering anyway why I have disappeared from the list.) But not one person made a comment, not one "I'm sorry" or "What a drag" or "Damn that sucks," nothing. I realized I had not really felt "supported" by the group at all since I had been back, it was friendly but…  I sort of have had a hard time even reading the posts anymore and have not posted. A support group isn't any good if there is no support for one anymore. A lot of the people had changed, maybe I was just too odd for an odd bunch.
So, having an old friend look me up was really nice. She and I had been through many things, good and bad, together. We knew each other since I lived in Bailey CO. I don't remember the exact year but it was around 1989 or 1990. We still have more catching up to do.

5 comments:

Todd said...

Wow, I'm so sorry. Yep, I totally missed the post about your aunt. I'm embarrassed about that because I try really, really hard to give hugs, or say something when something like that happens. Again, I apologize. I didn't know that lack of response is what has kept you away from the list.

However, I'm really glad that friend from the past got a hold of you and you two were able to reconnect.

*hugs* because of my lack of not supporting a friend when she needed it most.

They are not aware said...

See, that is the thing, *you* had something much bugger going on in your life at the time and I did not think you were even reading the list regularly. It was not *your* lack of response; I know you would have responded had you read my post. I also believe if I would have contacted you directly about it I would have gotten that hug even with all you were going through. You actually did support me during that time, you were just unaware of it.

Todd said...

Well, I'm glad you felt supported by me. I'm going to go back and check for that message. Was that in January? *hugs*

They are not aware said...

Why?
Well, to make it easy I will forward it to you. I took out the group designation in the heading so it wouldn't file to the groups folder if you still keep your email sorted that way.
BTW, my aunt died on May 9th.

Todd said...

Why? To read it and see if I remember it, which I didn't. I responded to the email.
There's a question in it that you can just ignore because you mentioned it here. I am so sorry, she sounds like a beautiful (in every way) woman. *huge hugs*